There is something about the past couple of months that has me turned upside down, wondering and questioning and seeking, and trying to find something. Im not sure what it is...it could be answers, understanding, love, depth to life....I do not know.
Im learning more and more each day and being challenged each day, that Christianity and being a Christian is not what we say it is. I can yell all I want that I am a Christian, but what good does it do to save someone who you do not have a relationship with or who might jump right back into the things they were doing when they walk out of the room. To get someone saved, and think that everything they have struggled with is done, I believe that you are crazy. I do believe in some situations and cases that can happen, but I also know that there is more to this whole thing.
Each day that I spend questioning, researching, and living in another area, is a day closer to realizing a lot. Im realizing that Im not called to be some ordinary missionary who gets up and preaches. That is not my job, that is not where Im meant to be. I am meant for something different and something greater. I know I am supposed to be working in Asia, and Africa. My heart explodes in these places and this where Im the happiest, but I also know it is not typically missionary work that I am supposed to do. I am not supposed to be up preaching, I am suppsed to show the Love of God through day to day things, and show the people who He is through relationship.
I do not know what it is, but I know that the Lord is up to something. Im not satisfied with ordinary, Im not satisfied with easy, Im not satisfied with no answers. I am not satisfied with things the way they are. I want to see things change, I want to see life happen, I want to see freedom, I want to walk out a life of Christianity, Im not sure I want to do it behind a pulpit all the time though.
As Christians, how are we supposed to live? how do we walk out this lifestyle?
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