Update..

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on here, for those out there at home who are wondering what is going on in life I'm sorry. Life has been a roller coaster. For several years I have said I wanted to write a book, and over the past several months, I am begining to look back at my short life to see all the things I have done and the knowledge I have gained. I have decided to slowly start writing this book. It is not something that will be done any time soon, but I figured that I should start it. I am going to title it "Fly by the seat of my pants....with God"

The past several years of my life have been a journey, one that I have enjoyed. The past several months have been a journey, one of lessons, a deeper understanding of life, a depper knowledge of God and justice. It is a journey I have taken, and I have loved but as with most things there have been trials. This has been no different. Since mid July I have found myself asking several questions ones I do not know the answers to, ones I do not plan on knowing the answers to. This deep level of question has forced me to seek out answers which create more questions.

I have been interning with a ministry the past few months which some of you know about, its called the Ramp. It is a great ministry, one I love and have enjoyed being apart of. My season is up here, and I moving on to something different. I have had the opportunity to learn and gain information like never before. I have had the opportunity to get closer to God and build a deeper relationship with him, my foundation is firmer than before, and my heart is happy, but at the same time I am missing many things. I am excited about the next chapter of my life. It will entail a move to a city, not completely sure of what city I will be moving to, but there are two in the picture for sure and possibly a third. It will mean the beginning of my career/ministry in an odd way, and it is all exciting. I can not give out more details than that right now, but in the next few weeks I think I will know the definite of life. I think that life is full of adventure and as I keep following God, I keep flying and my life is being changed daily. What more can I ask for?

Bucket List

For those of you who do not know, I have this quote that I live by and hands down it is my favorite quote. I probably hear it in my head at least five times a day and because of it I have created my bucket list and thought I would share it. What the heck!

• Become scuba certified
• go sky diving
• drive a race car
• travel to at least half the countries in the world
• Find the true meaning of justice
• Feed millions of people
• Work in at least 1/4 of the countries in the World.
• Adopt at least one kid from each continent
• Backpack thru Europe
• Sail around the world
• Build houses for people to live in rent free
• Change the world
• Fly a plane
• Hike the Swiss Alps
• Ski in Colorado
• Bungee Jump in another country
• Travel to all 50 states by car
• drive a motorcycle
• Own a hand gun
• Go scuba diving in the great barrier reef
• Risk it all for what I dream about...
• Fall in love
• Run a marathon
• Go hiking through the jungle
• Learn the guitar
• Learn how to dance...I have two left feet and I'm horrible at it
• Ride a bull
• Go parasailing in a tropical location still to be decided
• Fly a hot air balloon
• Climb Mount Everest
• Ride in a helicopter
• Ride on the ten biggest roller coasters in the world
• Break a record of some kind
• Go to the Cherry Blossom Festival
• Ride down the Panama Canal
• Become a famous photographer
• Travel to war torn areas and take pictures
• Open a restraunt
• Write and publish a book
• Stay young
• Live in Budapest
• Go on a safari
• Live in a village
• Help put an end to homelessness
• Find out what world peace really means
• Debate an issue with the President and win the debate
• Speak to a large group of people about the topic of my choice
• Buy season tickets to OSU games and attend each of them including "away" games
• Take a cruise to Alaska
• Stomp on grapes and make wine
• Get my doctrate
• Make a difference in at least one person's life
• See the world change
• Go completely Green
• Sleep for a whole day for no reason other than because I can
• Have my own football team
• Go to Grace Land
• Camp in the Grand Canyon
• Go to the Amazon
• Make a documentary
• Write a movie
• Shoot a machine gun
• Build a tree house and live in it
• Own a monkey
• have no fear of failure

Risk more than others think is Safe,
Care more than others think is Wise,
Dream more than others think is Practical,
Expect more than others think is Possible

Rough Ride...

It has been awhile since I have been on here...sorry to all of you who are wanting to know what is going on. I am back from Italy, and I am back from India...I can't stand being back, and daily my heart is breaking because daily I am realizing that I was not created to sit by and watch goes on around the world, and because I was not created to be in America.

I am convinced that there is something in my DNA that is created for to things awakening and being in other countries. When I am in the states something inside of me is missing, its being denied. I can honestly say that when I'm in another country I am at my happiest. I am completely happy with nothing to tear that down. In the midst of what might be going on in the country, and what I might be seeing, even though my heart breaks for them and the developing issues at hand, I am the happiest. It is like my heart has found where it belongs.

When I came back to the states I moved to Alabama. I currently reside in a town that has absolutely nothing in it, and for the most part I do not like it one bit. I am doing an internship that is interesting to say the least. I am trying to understand a few things but nonetheless I know the Lord is teaching me and guiding me despite how much I do not like being here.

Since coming back from Italy and India I have been applying for jobs all over the world. I am hoping to obtain a job in Washington, DC or New York City. I am not sure how that will work out or if it will happen but I am being hopefull that it will and that by the first of the year I could be moving to one of those places, or Colarado, Maryland, Florida, Ethiopia, Malaysia, or California. I promise I have applied all over the place, and I am excited about it. I have applied with some amazing NGO's and IGO's that would be wonderful to work for. Im praying something opens up and I can go be with friends in these places for at least a period of my life.

Because I am sure you are wondering, India was absolutely amazing. My heart breaks daily because I am not there in that place with those children and with those people. I absolutely love it. I love it. I want to go back, and there is a strong possibility I might be going back this year.

I traveled to several different orphanages, and found several children I wanted to bring home with me. While I was on this trip my mind would run crazy about ways you could help develop and work to a holistic approach to helping people there especially the children. I am really looking forward to implementing these ideas and to seeing what happens in the near future!

The Demand...

As you know, Im constantly researching and research spurs thoughts, documentaries do the same thing as well. I was watching a forty five minute documentary on Demand, by Share Hope International. In case you do not know, sex trafficking is an extremely large social justice issue today that you see world wide..it is something that ultimately needs to be ended. The issue of trafficking as a whole is something that needs to be worked on. I think of the number of people who are trafficked into the U.S. each year, and I wonder if we are doing our job correctly? What about border control, and documents how are people getting on planes without the proper documents? How do people get into the U.S. without proper documents?



You see, the whole thought behind this is that the reason it is an issue is because of the demand. If there was no demand there would be no need for it. Media plays a huge role in the problem. People do not wake up one morning and say I want to have sex with a girl on the street etc.

Sites that say just barely legal whether it is porn, or it is on a window in another country, the vast majority of the time they are well underage. There are all forms of trafficking whether it is prostitution...just because you think they are prostitute and they are out there because they want to be does not mean that is the life they have chosen for themselves. The vast majority of the time a prostitute is a victim of sex trafficking, and it is hard to leave once they are in not because they do not want to but because they are constantly in debt to the pimp.

When we gain knowledge what do we do with it? How do digest the knowledge than raise awareness about what we have learned? This is a battle I am still fighting. I am still trying to learn what to do about these things, but what I do know is I have a voice, and I am going to share what I learn here and hopefully my thoughts will spark interest and you will begin to learn on your own about what is going on.

Traveling through....

Today was one of the days I have been looking forward to all week. We traveled to several different orphanages to see several different children. These kids were precious, and the smiles were priceless.

I love the moments when the Lord whispers little nuggets to your heart. I wish they would have been for saturday but they weren't. They were reminders of his promises, and of his love. They were little pieces of information that didn't help me understand the circumanstances of things, but that gave me piece about life. I do not understand how one heart can have as much love as it does, but on the flip side how one heart can endure so much pain. I wish I could express into words everything that has been going on inside but I can't, and I'm not sure I would want to. All I know is that being able to love on these kids today was the best part of my week, and being able to love on some kids tomorrow and saturday will be even better!

My heart belongs here...

India has been a one heck of a journey, and I have thrived off of every almost car wreck, off of the beauty of the hearts of the people we encounter, and the children. It has been one of the best weeks I have had.

We finnished up a pastor's conference this evenning, and I can say that the Lord has definitely moved. As much as I might question things, I know that I serve a living God who constantly shows up, and is still doing everything. The services the past few days have been long and intense to say the least. It has been hot and you get sweaty but the people are hungry for more. I definitly believe the fire is falling here. I have seen the Lord deliver people, I have seen them healed, and I have seen the joy in their hearts as they learn about him.

The next few days are going to be extremely exciting. We are headed out to travel throughout the district. We will be going to different orphanages in the area, and Lord willing to the tribal village which are people who are considered to be untouchables. Im definitely excited just to be able to walk with them, shake their hand, and capture a picture if they let me. On Saturday the team and myself will spend the day at the big orphanage up the road with the kids playing and having fun, but we will also be having a service. I am going to be speaking on two things I believe, but Im not a hundred percent sure yet. Im paraying that these children encounter the Lord in a mighty way, and I am believe for some miraculous healings to take place physically and emotionally.

I can tell you this, I do not want to leave this place. There is so much that I want to do here....

What is it....

There is something about the past couple of months that has me turned upside down, wondering and questioning and seeking, and trying to find something. Im not sure what it is...it could be answers, understanding, love, depth to life....I do not know.

Im learning more and more each day and being challenged each day, that Christianity and being a Christian is not what we say it is. I can yell all I want that I am a Christian, but what good does it do to save someone who you do not have a relationship with or who might jump right back into the things they were doing when they walk out of the room. To get someone saved, and think that everything they have struggled with is done, I believe that you are crazy. I do believe in some situations and cases that can happen, but I also know that there is more to this whole thing.

Each day that I spend questioning, researching, and living in another area, is a day closer to realizing a lot. Im realizing that Im not called to be some ordinary missionary who gets up and preaches. That is not my job, that is not where Im meant to be. I am meant for something different and something greater. I know I am supposed to be working in Asia, and Africa. My heart explodes in these places and this where Im the happiest, but I also know it is not typically missionary work that I am supposed to do. I am not supposed to be up preaching, I am suppsed to show the Love of God through day to day things, and show the people who He is through relationship.

I do not know what it is, but I know that the Lord is up to something. Im not satisfied with ordinary, Im not satisfied with easy, Im not satisfied with no answers. I am not satisfied with things the way they are. I want to see things change, I want to see life happen, I want to see freedom, I want to walk out a life of Christianity, Im not sure I want to do it behind a pulpit all the time though.

As Christians, how are we supposed to live? how do we walk out this lifestyle?

India...

India, is one of the countries that has a piece of my heart.

After a long journey, and when I say long I mean long we made it India. Just to give you an idea
of what it looked like I will tell you about the flight itself. I left TN around 11am and drove down to Atlanta, once in Atlanta I spent some time with my brother and my mom. After spending time with them we headed to the airport where we checked in around 6pm, and boarder our plane a little after 9, we had almost a 9 hour flight to London, where we had another 3 hour lay-over and than a 10 hour flight to Chennai. Once we reached Chennai I would love to say that we were at our destination, but sadly enough we were not. We still had an 8-9 hour van ride to where we would be staying. We left Friday evening and arrived here Sunday afternoon.

Once we arrived here we were greated by people throwing flowers on us, and with huge flower necklaces...it was beautiful and almost brought me to tears. We had lunch and spent some time with the kids that afternoon. We brought the kids some candy and silly bands. I must say they love the silly bands but Im not sure they understand that they make different shapes.

Today went out to the town to buy some of the traditional dress, and it was fun to get out. Our bus driver knocked over one the push fruit stands...ooops. Than we came back and chilled out until tonight when we had service with the Pastors.

For me, India has been like coming home. I can not explain everything that is going on in words, nor do I want too explain it. When I was in China, I left a piece of my heart, and knew I would always be back to Asia, and that Asia was my home in many ways. Getting to come back to Asia, but a different part just confirmed that this continent is home, it is where I belong, it is one of the two places on the planet that my heart breaks, and that I am filled with joy. I can not explain it in words nor do I want to. All I want is to be where I belong. I want to fulfill what I am supposed to fulfill.

I am not sure what is going to happen on this trip. There are a lot of things planned, there are a few things Im super excited for and there are a few things I can not wait to do, one of the being spend some good time with the kids for a few days playing volleyball, and maybe even soccer. On Saturday we will be having a kids service with over 100 kids, possibly up to 300 Im not sure...I know Im nervous, because I have been put "in charge" of this thing, and even though I am in charge, I am not the one who is in charge, and there are two things I want to see happen. The first, I want to see relationships built, and I want to see lives transformed with the fire of God falling in miraculous ways.

Im excited to see what happens. I know that tonight the Lord showed up in great ways, and his fire is falling on this country, and that he loves these people. Sometimes it hard to grasp that he is here in the midst of their pain and suffering, and that they are blessed just as I am blessed. What does it mean to be blessed? How does that look? I am still wondering, I am still trying to figure this out. But I know they are, it is just different than what we think it is...at least I think it is. This is the journey. Im on a journey to find something, many things, but Im not sure what.

If you go to this link you can see some pics from this trip thus far...there are a lot, but they are worth a look.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2087798&id=66500521&l=d11ee09d50

What does it mean to love?

Farewell Rome...

This month has been a month of several things. It has been a month of challenges, and growth. It has been a month of birth and death. It has been a month I will never forget and that has forever changed me.

I came to Rome, Italy thirty-two days ago, and I had no idea what to expect. It was a journey I was embarking on, and I did not know what would happen or how these days would play out. I did not set much of an expectation, and I was content with whatever happened. The first few days I remember wanting to go home because I was not having a great experience, but that soon changed, and over the past thirty two days my world has been changed...and it continuing to change.

How many of you have seen real world? Its about seven people who do not know each other coming to live together for a few months...well lets just say that this past month reminded me of that show. I came to Rome, Italy to live with 20 strangers, with a representation of several different countries (Jamacia, Barbados, Moldova, Georgia, India (Chennai, Goa, Bangladesh), Argentina, Ecuador, Ghana, Kenya, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Romania . Talk about culture fest...For thirty two days we have lived together, studied together, talked about our faith, and challenged each other. Im forever changed...words can not express the things that have happened, the memories that have been locked away, the laughter I have had. This past month, I extended my family, and I now call the my "non-italian, italy family"

This month new friendships were born. I have grown to love these people. Throughout this trip I have constantly been challenged. My thoughts I have not been able to hold in. My life has been turned upside down. Im learning it is okay to question life, and it is okay to questions God, and it is okay to ask those tough questions and realize you do not have the answers to them. It is okay to be mad at God. One person in particular has challenged me a great deal. This person has been easy to talk with, and has busted out with some random questions and some random moments of laughter. You can never judge a book by its cover. This person will blow your mind away at times with the stories and the things that are said. Its amazing how one person can be so influential, its even more amazing to sit with this person and talk about several different things and have different opinions/views but the same questions of why.

There are times in life when you can not express the feelings you have. Its beautiful, and it is priceless, there are times when a picture can not even grasp the emotions of the moment. I have ahd several of those here and I look forward to having several more of those with these people.
Our time together in Rome is coming to an end. As I said goodbye this morning to two people it did make me a little sad, but one thing I know for sure is we are all connected in more ways than one, and that throughout the next two years these friendships will grow, whether it be through seeing each other at weddings, skype conversations, emails, or getting together in random locations I look forward to it all. I look forward to you challenging me and helping me to grow. Thanks to this town and this program I have some amazing friends.

When the unexpected happens...

The journey of Rome is almost over. Im leaving Monday morning to return to the states...

Im going to miss this place, but more than this place Im going to miss these people that I have formed relationships with and the friendships I have made. Im ready to come home to my family though.

Im ending this trip with a journey to the beach...who could ask for more. There will be more pictures from the Sistine Chapel, and the inside of the Colosseum tomorrow or Monday!

its coming....

Its Thursday in Italy, which means I have approximately 4 days until I depart and step foot back in the United States....hmmmm

Im excited about coming home to Chattanooga and seeing everyone, and being home during dedication week for sure, and Im excited about going to India and all of that but I cant say I'm completely excited about returning home.

There has been a huge piece of me that has been living in complete frustration. As much as I do not like Italy, I have made this place work for me for the past month...I have had a blast, but most of all I have enjoyed having a place and being around a group of individuals who I can talk to about things that are going on in our world. I enjoy hearing 20 different perspectives and being educated through conversations.

I know that might sound lame, but when you realize what has been missing in your life you do not want it to leave your life. I want to be around people who have a desire to learn and dig deeper into the issues of social justice and development, and how can I play a role in development/justice....

The worst part about leaving this place in 3-4 days is losing out on conversations about these things face to face. Im losing out on being challenged and being pushed to think in a different manner but still incorporate my foundation fo Christianity into it.

Im not sure what the states will be like when I get back, but I do know Im not coming back the same, and Im going to miss a lot of what happens over here day to day, conversation to conversation.

Cinque Terre....Kicked my Butt

So this weekend we went and had a wonderful time. On Friday night we walked up to this park area in Rome and we were able to watch the sunset over the city...It was absolutely beautiful. It was a great way to end a stressful week, and a wonderful way to stay what has probably been one of the best weekends I have ever had.

On Saturday a group of us got up early, and we left on a four hour train ride to Cinque Terre. It is a place about four hours from Rome on the Cost. We were goign to go hiking than sit at the beach.

First off when we got there we found out that this was the view from the front door of where we were staying...there is no picture that does this place justice. It is absolutely beautiful.

We ended up doing the 8 mile hike, that kicked my butt. It was so much fun and so hated at the same time. We climbed hundreds of stairs up through the mountains. It was definitely a journey I will not forget.

Through this journey, I almost fell off the side of the mountain. Definitely would not have a been a good thing, and I am very happy that I didn't hurt myself to bad or die while I was hiking, but I must say that if I would have been a nice place to be buried haha.

After the hike we spent some time in the last town and went to beach. On Sunday we got up and we went to the beach for part of the day, which was absolutely amazing...I wanted to change our train tickets to come back in a week because well I did not want to return to classes or to Rome, but I could not convinvce the group to do it.

All in all it was a great weekend. It was the relaxation I needed, and it was great to see my two worlds collide...the beach and hiking. AMAZING. Through out this whole weekend though I could not help but think about how crazy God is. He created this...who in the world could do something like this. I kept thinking about how amazing it is that a group of 21 people can come together from around the world, in a random country live together for a month and build wonderful relationships. Who would have thought that I would be in Italy for a month. Call it what you want, but I think it is safe to say I serve the best God possible!

home...

Italy is great. The city is fun, the people I am here with are phenominal. I could not have asked for a better group of people to study with, to challenge me in my thinking, and to form friendships with. Because of this program, and because of this group, I have friends all over the world. We are everywhere, and it is amazing. Above is a picture of all of us at the graduation for Cohort 3. It a picture to get us ready for two years from now....when we will graduate.

Being in Italy, has not been anything that I expected it to be. It has been challenging, it has been hard it has been frustrating, its has been the cause of questioning, misunderstandings, lack of sleep, but it has been rewarding. A part of me is going to be said to leave my italy "family" because we are going to head to several different parts of the world, go back to our careers, and possibly not see each other for a couple years.

Besides all of this Italy, has not been as easy as I would like for it to be. In this time Im being stretched in a different way than I expected, and of course things happen that you can not control. For me this week has been a week where I wish I could just be at home in TN with my friends. You know those weeks when you just wish you could talk to the people that you have known for a long time and who understand you without having to say a bunch? yea that is the week Im having. I love the people here and I have been having a blast, and there are definitely solid good relationships forming, but there is something about having the comforts of your friends/family who know you and understand you that makes life better. I miss my mountains, and my hiking, and everything that goes along with TN, so needless to say I am excited about returning in less than two weeks, but just as most the past few months of my life has been...this will be bitter-sweet.

This weekend, a group of us are headed out of Rome, and going to Cinque Terre. It is a beautiful place on the cost. We will hike the cliffs on the shore of Italy which is absolutely beautiful, and spend some time on the beach. It is about an 11 mile hike, and we will be passing through five different cities, getting to watch sunsets/sunrises. Im stoked.

This is what I have for you at this point. Sorry its not more interesting. All my TN friends and family, get ready because I get to see you all for a few days before I leave for India. (which Im super excited about)

When will Justice be achieved...

Ive been doing lots of research. Which to most is nothing new. I have recently been researching the topic of child soldiers. It is the topic I think I will be doing my capstone project on. I was reading on a websites, and there is a quote of a child who was made to be a child soldier...

"I've seen people get their hands cut off, a ten year old girl raped and and die, and so many men and women burned alive...So many times I cried inside my heart because I didn't dare cry out loud", said a 14 year old girl abducted in Janueary 2000 by the Revolutionary United Front an armed group in Sierra Leona.

It makes me sick to my stomach. It aggrivates the mess out of me, that kids are facing these situations day in and day out. The statistics make you sick.

In the 1990's

-2 million killed

-4-5 million displaced

-12 million homeless

-1 million orphaned or displaced from their family

-10 million psychologically traumatized

Some other statistics,

-It is believed that there are over 300,000 child soldiers under the age of 18.

-The youngest child soldiers are around 7 years old (how old is you child? or your cousin? or your brother?...)

-Over 50 countries currently recruit/abduct children to be soldiers.

There is a rage that rises up within me when I read things like this. We know its out there...what will we do? Once you have been made aware of the problem, it becomes your responsibility to do something about it.

**Information taken from, http://www.un.org/cyberschoolbus/briefing/soldiers/soldiers.pdf

**picture taken from http://library.thinkquest.org/

COMPLACENCY....

Everyday when I go to bed and when I wake up, I am being challenged. My two weeks so far here have been great, but I am waking up and going to bed troubled. Everything within me is being challenged. Every thought, every desire, every dream, every belief system, every relationship, every emotion, every everything.

For two weeks, I have been living in a unique state of being. I do not always know how to function within the state that I have been..It has been stressful, rewarding, challenging, but most importantly it has been a two week period in which I have realized how complacent we get in our day to day lifestyle, and in our day to day walk with Christ, and within the realm of social justice/development. We in many ways have become complacent, to what is going on around us because we live in a bubble, consisting of our world and that is it.

If we become complacent in our life, than what good are we to society? we are a bunch of robots that do not accomplish anything, but the mundane boring lifestyle of getting up going to work or school, coming home, eatting dinner and going to bed. If we remain in our bubble we do nothing for this world, and we do nothing as Christians.

I just as everyone else gets caught up within the daily lifestyle and daily routine, but being here the past two weeks and realizing how comfortable I have become and how complacent I have become in my life, and even though I am aware of what goes on, and others might not think I am in a bubble I feel as though I am. I feel as though I have become complacent in my life. What can a complacent Christian accomplish. I am supposed to burn for Him. I am supposed to be so in love with Christ, that I burn, that his love radiates through me, that becaue I am walking in a relationship with him that is so deep that I can not be complacent in the world I live in. We talk and we talk, but at what point do we decide to go all in. At what point do we decide to stop talking, at what point do we say I am going to put this to action? Do we wait till we have the porper degree, or do we start now? Do we just debate the issue or do we begin to wlak like Christ walked?

At what point do we TRULY decide to pick up the CROSS and carry it. When do we decide to OPEN our EYES, and see like Christ sees. When do I decide to move and stop being a complacent person. When do I decide to live an uncomfortable lifestyle. Stop waiting for tomorrow. Each day that we sit by, and we decide to wait, is a day wasted. Is a day we have lost.

I get tired of hearing people say things that sound completely uneducated, especially within the church. I am not saying that every person is supposed to leave the country, and is supposed to go to the far off area's to help a person, but what I am saying is look in your backyard. Stop living the complacent lifestyle. When you see someone who is homeless, whether you think they are or not, offer them assistance when they are asking for money. We need to stop assuming we know their story, we need to stop assuming they will spend the money on alcohol. How do you expect to help someone if you can not meet their need at that moment?

I am beyond myself. I am being turned upside down, and inside out, and I feel like I might explode, but Im glad. I do not want to be okay with injustice. I do not want to waste another day. I want to dive deeper. I want to go deeper. I want to live each day like it is my last. I want to live each day knowing tha I completed the Lord's will for that day. I want to know that at the end of the day I behaved how Christ would have, I want to know that ten years from now, I have done as Christ has done. I want to live a life, that is not complacent. I want to be an example of living a life outside of myself, and be the hands and feet of Christ.

Dream, and Expect

RISK more than others think is safe, CARE more than others think is wise, DREAM more than others think is practical, EXPECT more than others think is possible.....

I am not sure what the purpose of this trip in my life is. I know that part of it is for the educational experience, and the connect with people from around the world for one united cause of social justice and global development, but I know for my life that the Lord has a bigger purpose in it. I in many ways am outside of my comfort zone...in Italy. Why Im not so sure, but I am. I'm uncomfortable, and you know what....I love it.

This quote I put on facebook a few days back, and it in many ways has been wrecking me. I believe that part of this is preparation for the up coming trip to India, it is preparation for the future, it is preparation period. Im at a point where Im trying to figure out how I take the knowledge I have, the passion I have, the expectancy, and the vision, and meshing it into one thing. How do I take my faith and apply into my field of study, and into my career, when in many ways, I am oustrasized for what I believe, and for what I think plays a large role in things? Do I care that I am oustrasized...no, because it is apart of the commission...pick up your cross and follow me. Nowhere in the Bible was it ever stated that everything would be easy, or that everyone would always accept your point of view. Christ was on the outside, and was condemed for our sake, and was condemed for the life he chose to live....the religious people of that time did not agree with him, and called him many things. While I have not encounter that directly, I have encountered it and I am at this dilema once again of how to live the call on my life out in the field I have chosen to go into. What does it look like? The only example I have is the example of Christ...

While Im here in Rome, there has been this internal conflict the whole time. THere is nothing like getting outside of your day to day life and getting to hear the Lord speak to you in subtle ways. Sometimes we get so caught up in our busy schedules that we forget to look at the small things in life and we forget to listen in the quite moments of life and hear what is going on. Im re-learning about simplicity, Im re-learning what it means to be a radical Christian in a sense, Im relaerning and reconstructing with the help of the Lord what it is He is wanting me to accomplish with however long it is I have here on earth. There is no reason to wait until tomorrow to witness to someone...today may be their last day. There is no reason to hide behind the mask because you are afraid of man. There is a scripture in Romans that states if God is for me who can be against me....and its true, the only thing that I ultimately need in life is to stand with Christ. All the battles and the trials that we face in life, are not bigger than He is.

Many times in life we get caught up in it all, we look and we think that we have to accomplish it on our own. There are many things wrong with our world today, and within our society. It is overwhelming. Especially when right now Im surronded by people who have a passion and drive and heart to work together in community to combate these problems and try to solve them. I have to step back and realize that the issuses in the world are not all completely my fault, and that I can not fix them, but I can do my part as a single person to do what I can to help change one life at a time and to do whatever is possible on my end to help people. Its the great commission. Ultimately everything goes back to that. Whether or not we are Christian, ultimately we are doing what is required of us, and that is to be the change we want to see.

For all of you at home, who were wondering how to know what was going on and asked about a blog, Im not sure if this is what you wanted but since Im not home I figure this is the best way to share with you life...Ill post pictures in the next couple of hours.

Risk it all?

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Jealous Jealousy....

Unfortunately this post has very little to do with Italy. The past couple of days here have been great but at the same time there has been this tugging on my heart that I can not really explain...an urgency....a greatfulness...a lot of feelings.

About eight months ago I heard a song, and finally found the song. The song talks about how His love is pure love, and its a righteous desire. It talks about how it is not an ordinary love, that it is a jealous jealousy, and its not a common love, or an earthly love, and how he has desired all of me. As I have listened to this song and I have thought a lot, about many different things.

I serve a God who is so much bigger than I am. I am having an internal struggle with how the heck do we say that we serve Christ with all of our hearts but yet we do not live out the great commission...go into all of the world and preach the gospel. How do we take bits and pieces from our faith to form our own religion? It does not make sense to me. Why is that at times I sit back and I do nothing...it makes me just as responsible as people who might be commiting the crime. Why do I sit by and watch, or say oh someone else can do that. I say Im an activist, I say I am a Christian but is it really shown in my day to day behavior. Am I really Christ like on a daily bases? Am I meeting the people that I encounter where they are at? I believe I am but yet I do not feel like I am.

We need to love with a pure love. We need to love a person regardless. We need to get out of our comfort zone and show them exactly what this song is about. I have been happy while I have been here in Italy, but yet I have been disturbed. Im off having a blast and I am so grateful about it, but yet here I am spending money on something that I could be giving to help a need of someone else. Am I giving my whole life up to the Lord to do what he pleases with it or am I holding on to it. Am I making him evem more jealous than he normally is? Have you ever thought about how this is no ordinary love, and that he is jealous of you and me when we do not spend time with him?

My heart is breaking for the things that I see but yet what am I doing about it? Lord awaken me, awaken me so that I may see what it is you are doing around me. Do not let me be so nieve that I ignore what you are doing. Give me a heart for compassion, and justice. Let me see in the spiritual realm. Help me to live out the great commission in a different way than what I am doing now. Help me live it out to the greatest degree possible regardless of what it might look like to others or what it might cost me.

Bella...

Today was a great day in Italy. The weather is definitely hot, especially when you are going around the city and in a bus with a bunch of people.

After classes a friend and I decided to set out into the city and find a couple of the popular landmarks for Rome. Neither of us knew any Italian and we know a small amount of Spanish, and therefore it was going to be a big journey, but a journey that was well worth it. One of our first stops was the the Fontana di Trevi. It was one of those experiences where you walk up to the Fountain and when you get there you are shocked. I mean lets be realistic you see fountains, but nothing like this. I think what makes it so amazing is how long it has been standing in Rome for a long time, granted there have been renovations but the fact that people sat and carved these figures in the stone is just so amazing to me. There is nothing like art coming to life.

Our next step was the very crowded Spanish Steps. It is a huge attraction type of area, not only are there several tourist there but there are also a lot of locals there as well. It is not this beautiful place but it is really neat to see it. It has 138 steps and it is on an incline. The steps were originally built to link the Bourbon Spanish Embassy and the Holy Sea and it was built with the French Diplomat Etienne Gueffier.

While those were the two main places that we went yesterday we ended up seeing a lot of the city, and a few pictures were taken. I saw some of the local artist and I have pictures of them along with some other pictures of the architecture in Rome. It is beautiful. It is a very unique city, a city with a lot of history and is very rich not in just the culture but also in art. It is neat to finally see some of the things that I have studied and seen pictures of. I did try my first gelato today, and I must say it was a nice treat.

If you want to see the rest of the photo's from the day they are on facebook. Peace out home skillet.

Ready or Not....

Well folks, Im in Rome, Italy.

I made it here around 6:30 am Rome time which is around 12:30 Am at home. The flight its self was a journey. There was turbulance, grumpy flight attendants, crying children, and smelly people, besides that it went fairly smooth. I slept the vast majority of the time...it was in and out sleep but it was still sleep. When I got off the plane the journey began...the taxi ride.

Now I must give credit to the taxi driver it was not as bad as I thought it would be, yes they are a little crazy when it comes to driving but it was nowhere as crazy as my experience in China. Now the cab drivers do attempt to rip you but you can bring them back down fairly easy.

Tonight I went walking around Rome with some of the professors and some students in the program. It was a great time. I was able to see the outside of the Vatican, and the Sistine Chapel tonight, and we are working on making plans to go visit both of these places which is definitely exciting.

While Im here I am rooming with someone which is exciting to me not because I want to share my room but because she is from India, and well guess what...Im going there soon. This trip is going to have a lot of opportunities to see the Lord move, I just have to be obedient and follow him every step of the way. I am super excited about this journey...classes start tomorrow so it should be a good day.

I have moved...

Well, I do not have a picture with this post...sorry. The past few days have been fairly out of control. On Friday my mom and Terry came to Cleveland. We picked up the UHAUL, I got sick to my stomach because I did not think it would all fit. We got back to my house and loaded up the last six years of my life into that tiny little uhaul. I think the Lord allowed for the stomach of the Uhaul to expand :)

Saturday morning I drove to Hamilton, with mom and Terry, and Nate to move to a new town and new apartment. In a matter of about five and half hours I had my room unpacked and decorated. It went fairly quick but it was tiring.

As I layed in bed last night thinking about the journey that I am going on, it made me realize two things. One I serve an amazing God, but two, Im extremely blessed. Not many people can say they are leaving the country for six weeks to travel to Italy, and India. I am excited about the journey of AL, and this internship. Despite how hard it is, and how alone I may feel at times because I will not have friends here with me in the beginning I know that the Lord has ordained this moment and this time to prepare for something great, and for that my friends I am very fortunate.

My next update will be in a few days....the rollercoaster ride still continues...it might end when I get to Italy. Be grateful for what you have and count your blessings you never know when you might not have them.

Firebrand....Keep, Share, and Ignite

Firebrand youth...I love them. In the past few years these kids have stolen my heart and been a huge part of my life. Tonight, was one of my last nights with Firebrand for awhile and it was a sad night but a great night. I absolutely loved the fact that firebrand and my TN family had a little going away party for me tonight...it was priceless. When Lisa asked me tonight if I wanted to say anything to firebrand I couldn't say anything without crying, but Firebrand I do have something to say to you....

First and foremost, thank you firebrand for teaching me throughout the past few years. You have taught me a lot of things and you have had a huge impact on my life. I love each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart, and just because I am moving to a different town for awhile I am still here for you whenever you need anything, I am still a phone call away. I will still continually pray for you and be here for you regardless. It has been an honor and pleasure to watch you grow into young men and woman of God who are ignited with a flame and running with a passion after God. I can't wait to see where the Lord takes you in the next few years. I am proud of each and every one of you. Continue to pursue after the Lord with everything inside of you, forsake the things of the world, love as Christ loves you, and spread the fire to everyone you encounter. Firebrand I love you!

Love...

This marks the beginning of my journey. Many of you have asked me if I was going to blog or how to keep up with me over the next year as I travel and start the internship and at first I was not sure what to do, and after much thought I decided that it was time to start a blog. So here is my first one.

As many of you know I am moving this weekend and it is a bitter sweet experience and time in my life. Tennessee has become my home, not just a place I went to school. I found extended family while living here. The saying home is where the heart is I find to be more true each day. My heart is in TN, and so is some of my family, and as I get ready to part with a place that had what I would consider to be a large impact on my life, and as I move away from the people who have challenged me and helped me to grow, and as I move away from the kids who have stolen my heart I know that the Lord is sending me on an incredible journey to refine and prepare me for what he has called me to do. My heart is happy and sad all at the same time. But what I do know is I am grateful for my TN family and I know that I'll be coming home regularly.

I was reading a book this past week, called love has a face. It is an incredible book, and book that has challenged me in a variety of ways. When I traveled to China a couple of years ago I remember I prayed a prayer the month before I left almost daily and that prayer was Lord, show me the people through your eyes. That prayer changed my world and my perspective of life...it broke me into pieces. This book has challenged to find out what love really looks like through the eyes of my Father. So I leave you with this question today, and yes I would like to respond because all of my questions have a bigger purpose in life other than for you to think about and for me to have an answer to...the answers from my questions are being used for a very important something that I will not be telling you about just yet....

The question I leave you with today is: What do you in your flesh percieve love to be?