Unfortunately this post has very little to do with Italy. The past couple of days here have been great but at the same time there has been this tugging on my heart that I can not really explain...an urgency....a greatfulness...a lot of feelings.
About eight months ago I heard a song, and finally found the song. The song talks about how His love is pure love, and its a righteous desire. It talks about how it is not an ordinary love, that it is a jealous jealousy, and its not a common love, or an earthly love, and how he has desired all of me. As I have listened to this song and I have thought a lot, about many different things.
I serve a God who is so much bigger than I am. I am having an internal struggle with how the heck do we say that we serve Christ with all of our hearts but yet we do not live out the great commission...go into all of the world and preach the gospel. How do we take bits and pieces from our faith to form our own religion? It does not make sense to me. Why is that at times I sit back and I do nothing...it makes me just as responsible as people who might be commiting the crime. Why do I sit by and watch, or say oh someone else can do that. I say Im an activist, I say I am a Christian but is it really shown in my day to day behavior. Am I really Christ like on a daily bases? Am I meeting the people that I encounter where they are at? I believe I am but yet I do not feel like I am.
We need to love with a pure love. We need to love a person regardless. We need to get out of our comfort zone and show them exactly what this song is about. I have been happy while I have been here in Italy, but yet I have been disturbed. Im off having a blast and I am so grateful about it, but yet here I am spending money on something that I could be giving to help a need of someone else. Am I giving my whole life up to the Lord to do what he pleases with it or am I holding on to it. Am I making him evem more jealous than he normally is? Have you ever thought about how this is no ordinary love, and that he is jealous of you and me when we do not spend time with him?
My heart is breaking for the things that I see but yet what am I doing about it? Lord awaken me, awaken me so that I may see what it is you are doing around me. Do not let me be so nieve that I ignore what you are doing. Give me a heart for compassion, and justice. Let me see in the spiritual realm. Help me to live out the great commission in a different way than what I am doing now. Help me live it out to the greatest degree possible regardless of what it might look like to others or what it might cost me.
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