When the unexpected happens...

The journey of Rome is almost over. Im leaving Monday morning to return to the states...

Im going to miss this place, but more than this place Im going to miss these people that I have formed relationships with and the friendships I have made. Im ready to come home to my family though.

Im ending this trip with a journey to the beach...who could ask for more. There will be more pictures from the Sistine Chapel, and the inside of the Colosseum tomorrow or Monday!

its coming....

Its Thursday in Italy, which means I have approximately 4 days until I depart and step foot back in the United States....hmmmm

Im excited about coming home to Chattanooga and seeing everyone, and being home during dedication week for sure, and Im excited about going to India and all of that but I cant say I'm completely excited about returning home.

There has been a huge piece of me that has been living in complete frustration. As much as I do not like Italy, I have made this place work for me for the past month...I have had a blast, but most of all I have enjoyed having a place and being around a group of individuals who I can talk to about things that are going on in our world. I enjoy hearing 20 different perspectives and being educated through conversations.

I know that might sound lame, but when you realize what has been missing in your life you do not want it to leave your life. I want to be around people who have a desire to learn and dig deeper into the issues of social justice and development, and how can I play a role in development/justice....

The worst part about leaving this place in 3-4 days is losing out on conversations about these things face to face. Im losing out on being challenged and being pushed to think in a different manner but still incorporate my foundation fo Christianity into it.

Im not sure what the states will be like when I get back, but I do know Im not coming back the same, and Im going to miss a lot of what happens over here day to day, conversation to conversation.

Cinque Terre....Kicked my Butt

So this weekend we went and had a wonderful time. On Friday night we walked up to this park area in Rome and we were able to watch the sunset over the city...It was absolutely beautiful. It was a great way to end a stressful week, and a wonderful way to stay what has probably been one of the best weekends I have ever had.

On Saturday a group of us got up early, and we left on a four hour train ride to Cinque Terre. It is a place about four hours from Rome on the Cost. We were goign to go hiking than sit at the beach.

First off when we got there we found out that this was the view from the front door of where we were staying...there is no picture that does this place justice. It is absolutely beautiful.

We ended up doing the 8 mile hike, that kicked my butt. It was so much fun and so hated at the same time. We climbed hundreds of stairs up through the mountains. It was definitely a journey I will not forget.

Through this journey, I almost fell off the side of the mountain. Definitely would not have a been a good thing, and I am very happy that I didn't hurt myself to bad or die while I was hiking, but I must say that if I would have been a nice place to be buried haha.

After the hike we spent some time in the last town and went to beach. On Sunday we got up and we went to the beach for part of the day, which was absolutely amazing...I wanted to change our train tickets to come back in a week because well I did not want to return to classes or to Rome, but I could not convinvce the group to do it.

All in all it was a great weekend. It was the relaxation I needed, and it was great to see my two worlds collide...the beach and hiking. AMAZING. Through out this whole weekend though I could not help but think about how crazy God is. He created this...who in the world could do something like this. I kept thinking about how amazing it is that a group of 21 people can come together from around the world, in a random country live together for a month and build wonderful relationships. Who would have thought that I would be in Italy for a month. Call it what you want, but I think it is safe to say I serve the best God possible!

home...

Italy is great. The city is fun, the people I am here with are phenominal. I could not have asked for a better group of people to study with, to challenge me in my thinking, and to form friendships with. Because of this program, and because of this group, I have friends all over the world. We are everywhere, and it is amazing. Above is a picture of all of us at the graduation for Cohort 3. It a picture to get us ready for two years from now....when we will graduate.

Being in Italy, has not been anything that I expected it to be. It has been challenging, it has been hard it has been frustrating, its has been the cause of questioning, misunderstandings, lack of sleep, but it has been rewarding. A part of me is going to be said to leave my italy "family" because we are going to head to several different parts of the world, go back to our careers, and possibly not see each other for a couple years.

Besides all of this Italy, has not been as easy as I would like for it to be. In this time Im being stretched in a different way than I expected, and of course things happen that you can not control. For me this week has been a week where I wish I could just be at home in TN with my friends. You know those weeks when you just wish you could talk to the people that you have known for a long time and who understand you without having to say a bunch? yea that is the week Im having. I love the people here and I have been having a blast, and there are definitely solid good relationships forming, but there is something about having the comforts of your friends/family who know you and understand you that makes life better. I miss my mountains, and my hiking, and everything that goes along with TN, so needless to say I am excited about returning in less than two weeks, but just as most the past few months of my life has been...this will be bitter-sweet.

This weekend, a group of us are headed out of Rome, and going to Cinque Terre. It is a beautiful place on the cost. We will hike the cliffs on the shore of Italy which is absolutely beautiful, and spend some time on the beach. It is about an 11 mile hike, and we will be passing through five different cities, getting to watch sunsets/sunrises. Im stoked.

This is what I have for you at this point. Sorry its not more interesting. All my TN friends and family, get ready because I get to see you all for a few days before I leave for India. (which Im super excited about)

When will Justice be achieved...

Ive been doing lots of research. Which to most is nothing new. I have recently been researching the topic of child soldiers. It is the topic I think I will be doing my capstone project on. I was reading on a websites, and there is a quote of a child who was made to be a child soldier...

"I've seen people get their hands cut off, a ten year old girl raped and and die, and so many men and women burned alive...So many times I cried inside my heart because I didn't dare cry out loud", said a 14 year old girl abducted in Janueary 2000 by the Revolutionary United Front an armed group in Sierra Leona.

It makes me sick to my stomach. It aggrivates the mess out of me, that kids are facing these situations day in and day out. The statistics make you sick.

In the 1990's

-2 million killed

-4-5 million displaced

-12 million homeless

-1 million orphaned or displaced from their family

-10 million psychologically traumatized

Some other statistics,

-It is believed that there are over 300,000 child soldiers under the age of 18.

-The youngest child soldiers are around 7 years old (how old is you child? or your cousin? or your brother?...)

-Over 50 countries currently recruit/abduct children to be soldiers.

There is a rage that rises up within me when I read things like this. We know its out there...what will we do? Once you have been made aware of the problem, it becomes your responsibility to do something about it.

**Information taken from, http://www.un.org/cyberschoolbus/briefing/soldiers/soldiers.pdf

**picture taken from http://library.thinkquest.org/

COMPLACENCY....

Everyday when I go to bed and when I wake up, I am being challenged. My two weeks so far here have been great, but I am waking up and going to bed troubled. Everything within me is being challenged. Every thought, every desire, every dream, every belief system, every relationship, every emotion, every everything.

For two weeks, I have been living in a unique state of being. I do not always know how to function within the state that I have been..It has been stressful, rewarding, challenging, but most importantly it has been a two week period in which I have realized how complacent we get in our day to day lifestyle, and in our day to day walk with Christ, and within the realm of social justice/development. We in many ways have become complacent, to what is going on around us because we live in a bubble, consisting of our world and that is it.

If we become complacent in our life, than what good are we to society? we are a bunch of robots that do not accomplish anything, but the mundane boring lifestyle of getting up going to work or school, coming home, eatting dinner and going to bed. If we remain in our bubble we do nothing for this world, and we do nothing as Christians.

I just as everyone else gets caught up within the daily lifestyle and daily routine, but being here the past two weeks and realizing how comfortable I have become and how complacent I have become in my life, and even though I am aware of what goes on, and others might not think I am in a bubble I feel as though I am. I feel as though I have become complacent in my life. What can a complacent Christian accomplish. I am supposed to burn for Him. I am supposed to be so in love with Christ, that I burn, that his love radiates through me, that becaue I am walking in a relationship with him that is so deep that I can not be complacent in the world I live in. We talk and we talk, but at what point do we decide to go all in. At what point do we decide to stop talking, at what point do we say I am going to put this to action? Do we wait till we have the porper degree, or do we start now? Do we just debate the issue or do we begin to wlak like Christ walked?

At what point do we TRULY decide to pick up the CROSS and carry it. When do we decide to OPEN our EYES, and see like Christ sees. When do I decide to move and stop being a complacent person. When do I decide to live an uncomfortable lifestyle. Stop waiting for tomorrow. Each day that we sit by, and we decide to wait, is a day wasted. Is a day we have lost.

I get tired of hearing people say things that sound completely uneducated, especially within the church. I am not saying that every person is supposed to leave the country, and is supposed to go to the far off area's to help a person, but what I am saying is look in your backyard. Stop living the complacent lifestyle. When you see someone who is homeless, whether you think they are or not, offer them assistance when they are asking for money. We need to stop assuming we know their story, we need to stop assuming they will spend the money on alcohol. How do you expect to help someone if you can not meet their need at that moment?

I am beyond myself. I am being turned upside down, and inside out, and I feel like I might explode, but Im glad. I do not want to be okay with injustice. I do not want to waste another day. I want to dive deeper. I want to go deeper. I want to live each day like it is my last. I want to live each day knowing tha I completed the Lord's will for that day. I want to know that at the end of the day I behaved how Christ would have, I want to know that ten years from now, I have done as Christ has done. I want to live a life, that is not complacent. I want to be an example of living a life outside of myself, and be the hands and feet of Christ.

Dream, and Expect

RISK more than others think is safe, CARE more than others think is wise, DREAM more than others think is practical, EXPECT more than others think is possible.....

I am not sure what the purpose of this trip in my life is. I know that part of it is for the educational experience, and the connect with people from around the world for one united cause of social justice and global development, but I know for my life that the Lord has a bigger purpose in it. I in many ways am outside of my comfort zone...in Italy. Why Im not so sure, but I am. I'm uncomfortable, and you know what....I love it.

This quote I put on facebook a few days back, and it in many ways has been wrecking me. I believe that part of this is preparation for the up coming trip to India, it is preparation for the future, it is preparation period. Im at a point where Im trying to figure out how I take the knowledge I have, the passion I have, the expectancy, and the vision, and meshing it into one thing. How do I take my faith and apply into my field of study, and into my career, when in many ways, I am oustrasized for what I believe, and for what I think plays a large role in things? Do I care that I am oustrasized...no, because it is apart of the commission...pick up your cross and follow me. Nowhere in the Bible was it ever stated that everything would be easy, or that everyone would always accept your point of view. Christ was on the outside, and was condemed for our sake, and was condemed for the life he chose to live....the religious people of that time did not agree with him, and called him many things. While I have not encounter that directly, I have encountered it and I am at this dilema once again of how to live the call on my life out in the field I have chosen to go into. What does it look like? The only example I have is the example of Christ...

While Im here in Rome, there has been this internal conflict the whole time. THere is nothing like getting outside of your day to day life and getting to hear the Lord speak to you in subtle ways. Sometimes we get so caught up in our busy schedules that we forget to look at the small things in life and we forget to listen in the quite moments of life and hear what is going on. Im re-learning about simplicity, Im re-learning what it means to be a radical Christian in a sense, Im relaerning and reconstructing with the help of the Lord what it is He is wanting me to accomplish with however long it is I have here on earth. There is no reason to wait until tomorrow to witness to someone...today may be their last day. There is no reason to hide behind the mask because you are afraid of man. There is a scripture in Romans that states if God is for me who can be against me....and its true, the only thing that I ultimately need in life is to stand with Christ. All the battles and the trials that we face in life, are not bigger than He is.

Many times in life we get caught up in it all, we look and we think that we have to accomplish it on our own. There are many things wrong with our world today, and within our society. It is overwhelming. Especially when right now Im surronded by people who have a passion and drive and heart to work together in community to combate these problems and try to solve them. I have to step back and realize that the issuses in the world are not all completely my fault, and that I can not fix them, but I can do my part as a single person to do what I can to help change one life at a time and to do whatever is possible on my end to help people. Its the great commission. Ultimately everything goes back to that. Whether or not we are Christian, ultimately we are doing what is required of us, and that is to be the change we want to see.

For all of you at home, who were wondering how to know what was going on and asked about a blog, Im not sure if this is what you wanted but since Im not home I figure this is the best way to share with you life...Ill post pictures in the next couple of hours.

Risk it all?

]

Jealous Jealousy....

Unfortunately this post has very little to do with Italy. The past couple of days here have been great but at the same time there has been this tugging on my heart that I can not really explain...an urgency....a greatfulness...a lot of feelings.

About eight months ago I heard a song, and finally found the song. The song talks about how His love is pure love, and its a righteous desire. It talks about how it is not an ordinary love, that it is a jealous jealousy, and its not a common love, or an earthly love, and how he has desired all of me. As I have listened to this song and I have thought a lot, about many different things.

I serve a God who is so much bigger than I am. I am having an internal struggle with how the heck do we say that we serve Christ with all of our hearts but yet we do not live out the great commission...go into all of the world and preach the gospel. How do we take bits and pieces from our faith to form our own religion? It does not make sense to me. Why is that at times I sit back and I do nothing...it makes me just as responsible as people who might be commiting the crime. Why do I sit by and watch, or say oh someone else can do that. I say Im an activist, I say I am a Christian but is it really shown in my day to day behavior. Am I really Christ like on a daily bases? Am I meeting the people that I encounter where they are at? I believe I am but yet I do not feel like I am.

We need to love with a pure love. We need to love a person regardless. We need to get out of our comfort zone and show them exactly what this song is about. I have been happy while I have been here in Italy, but yet I have been disturbed. Im off having a blast and I am so grateful about it, but yet here I am spending money on something that I could be giving to help a need of someone else. Am I giving my whole life up to the Lord to do what he pleases with it or am I holding on to it. Am I making him evem more jealous than he normally is? Have you ever thought about how this is no ordinary love, and that he is jealous of you and me when we do not spend time with him?

My heart is breaking for the things that I see but yet what am I doing about it? Lord awaken me, awaken me so that I may see what it is you are doing around me. Do not let me be so nieve that I ignore what you are doing. Give me a heart for compassion, and justice. Let me see in the spiritual realm. Help me to live out the great commission in a different way than what I am doing now. Help me live it out to the greatest degree possible regardless of what it might look like to others or what it might cost me.

Bella...

Today was a great day in Italy. The weather is definitely hot, especially when you are going around the city and in a bus with a bunch of people.

After classes a friend and I decided to set out into the city and find a couple of the popular landmarks for Rome. Neither of us knew any Italian and we know a small amount of Spanish, and therefore it was going to be a big journey, but a journey that was well worth it. One of our first stops was the the Fontana di Trevi. It was one of those experiences where you walk up to the Fountain and when you get there you are shocked. I mean lets be realistic you see fountains, but nothing like this. I think what makes it so amazing is how long it has been standing in Rome for a long time, granted there have been renovations but the fact that people sat and carved these figures in the stone is just so amazing to me. There is nothing like art coming to life.

Our next step was the very crowded Spanish Steps. It is a huge attraction type of area, not only are there several tourist there but there are also a lot of locals there as well. It is not this beautiful place but it is really neat to see it. It has 138 steps and it is on an incline. The steps were originally built to link the Bourbon Spanish Embassy and the Holy Sea and it was built with the French Diplomat Etienne Gueffier.

While those were the two main places that we went yesterday we ended up seeing a lot of the city, and a few pictures were taken. I saw some of the local artist and I have pictures of them along with some other pictures of the architecture in Rome. It is beautiful. It is a very unique city, a city with a lot of history and is very rich not in just the culture but also in art. It is neat to finally see some of the things that I have studied and seen pictures of. I did try my first gelato today, and I must say it was a nice treat.

If you want to see the rest of the photo's from the day they are on facebook. Peace out home skillet.